Help I've Fallen & I Can't Get Up

Dear Readers,

    Ouch so the title of my blog post made me chortle (you know those horribly acted Life Alert commercials?Heeeelllpp I've fallen and I can't get up...*extend arm weakly*) and laughing hurt like a bi-atch. (And when I yelled “ow” from the pain of laughing I guess I sounded like a cat because my cat started meowing at me (although that could be because he was concerned because he can always sense when I'm in pain)). 

                             

      Anywho... back to the point...I feel like I should win an award because Tuesday (I think...) I fell and couldn't get up when I attempted to get out of bed to go to the bathroom. I had just woken up after a long Sleeping Beauty-esque sleep.  Picture it: Tempe, Arizona; the day: August 2nd, 2011

          I woke up as I heard “Don’t worry ‘bout a thing ‘cuz every little thing’s gonna be alright” for the umpteenth time. Bob Marley’s Three Little Birds is my mom’s ringtone (every Saturday she’d crank up the Bob and all of us (all 4 kids and my mom and dad) would clean the house top to bottom). I immediately texted her back because I hate phone calls, and I assured her, yes I was alive despite the fact I’d been asleep for 24+ hours. She relayed the message to my dad.

          I spent a little more time waking up until the “urgent pressure on my bladder” assured me I could wait no longer to make a much needed bathroom run…exactly 3 feet away from my bed.

So I crawl out from under my little burrow and as I approach the porcelain pedestal, I start feeling funky (ahem, funkier) and my vision starts dancing, going spotty and fading,  and my body starts shaking and twitching and then my body goes numb and I lose all the strength in my body…Crap...I can't lean on my towel bar or I'll rip it out of the wall. I can just picture that happening so vividly. I should try to make it back to bed before I collapse.

 Next thing I know, I’m waking up and, praise the Lord Hallelujah, I didn’t wet myself haha, but no seriously, I wake up sobbing hysterically and my back and ribs and my HEAD are throbbing and I’m covered in makeup (no, not my face, my body….I guess I pulled all my makeup off the counter (when I fell down and I had  just washed my white rug). And the first thing I think is FUCK (pardon my French) my mom is going to kill me…there’s no way I didn’t get another concussion** (see note).

          As I attempt to haul myself up, my back is screaming, so I pull my shirt up and I see big cuts up and down my back. My head starts throbbing…the throbbing morphs into a massive migraine: grab some Zomig, pull cap, insert into nose, pull trigger, toss away, pinch nose, tilt head, wait for relief. My ribs are so tender and sore it hurts to breath. As the day wears on it just gets worse.

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          Today aka Wednesday (since I haven't been to bed...can't sleep), I can’t touch (or even think about touching) my ribs and there are 2 big lumps on my head (that I can’t touch). I’m thinking I hit my head on the wall when I went down and then again on the floor.

          I guess I can kiss my dreams of winning Miss America good-bye since I’m pretty sure you need poise for that haha! But no, seriously, I’ve been having this weird shaking dizziness for years and my mom says it’s because I stand up too fast…but nowadays, I can’t stand up fast lol so hmm (*strokes imaginary beard*)!

Who wants to see a picture of my back?

not my most flattering pic
& I didn't feel like taking a pic today of the bruising and bumps

Thanks for reading!! I hope you'll let me know what you truly think!! I appreciate all the feedback I can get!! Have a fabulous day!! 

<3 ILavaJuice/ Aurora

**I had my first head injury (traumatic brain injury)@ age 8 months…then age 8…with multiple concussions in between (age 6, 9 &12, etc)  and a major concussion @ age 17 and then after that @ ages 18, 19, & 20, &22. & Even a slight head bump now has a profound impact.

Health Update

Dear Readers,
Have you been waiting with bated breath to find out the results of my fun tests from Wednesday?  I'm guessing you probably weren't lol but I'll pretend, just for a moment, that you were all on the edges of your seats!
The whole testing process was as pleasant as can be expected and the staff at the hospital was top-notch!
It was so funny--as I was wheeled into the procedure room and they hooked me  up to "my own private oxygen bar" (as the nurse called it--shower curtain flavor she said) the doctor asked me: "What's been going on?" I, rather stupidly I might add, replied,"Do you mean in general?" The doctor laughed,"Oh yeah, what'd you do last night, what's your favorite TV show, what are your hopes and dreams! Silly, I meant what brought you to my procedure room?"


That definitely lightened the mood and after describing my inability to eat or drink and the constant acid reflux and heartburn I was experiencing despite taking Prilosec twice a day and chugging Maalox like a frat guy chugs cheap beer, they paused to make sure I was aware of the procedure they were doing, etc and then they administered some sedating medication and put a camera down my throat...and up elsewhere! Touchdown for the doctor!!!
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When I woke up in the recovery room the first thing I asked the nice nurse as I opened my eyes was: "am I a hypochondriac?"
She looked at me quizzically and responded: "No there were some findings. Your father is on his way. You should rest."

Later, when my dad strode into the room, seeming to fill up the whole space with his tall frame and air of authority, my doctor came in with my test results and nifty pictures of my stomach and intestines. She spoke to my dad and my father complimented her on the recovery facilities. She told me dad how much sedation medication she gave me and my dad gave a low whistle and spoke to me; "You won't remember any of this or anything you studied before the procedure when you wake up tomorrow, the medicine causes antegrade amnesia." fabulous I thought to myself. I could have been relaxing when they ran that IV and gave me those enemas instead of studying. 


Then the doctor and my dad got down to business and my dad reviewed the results. I heard bits and pieces: "scalloping" "intestines""hernia" "motility""more testing"....and then I just slept. When the doctor left the nurse asked if I wanted juice. My dad told me to say yes so I said yes.
As the nurse  went to get juice my dad told me: "They won't let you leave until you drink 2 glasses of juice."

So even though I was scared to drink the juice (yep...scared. to. drink. juice (hey man acid reflux hurts)) I sucked it up and chugged that juice faster than you can say...chug. Then the nurse told me I could get dressed and my dad took me home and I slept all that day and the next day (after briefly waking up at 3 am and thinking it was 3 pm and getting really scared).

When I was more with it, i looked at the nifty pictures they took and read the results: Hiatal hernia (stomach in my esophogas) and scalloping of my intestines (which could possibly indicate Celiac disease).
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On Friday I met with my GI guy, Dr. Patel, and he said I don't have Celiac Disease (yay!!!!) but during the tests, my stomach didn't move at all and there was still food matter in it (remember I haven't eaten in forever) so he's pretty worried about that. See...your stomach breaks down food by churning (contracting and relaxing) as well as by chemical (acid) means. But they're worried my stomach isn't contracting which means my food is just sitting in my stomach for days on end...but they won't know for sure until they do  more tests (a 7 hour one) and I have to wait until AFTER my class finishes on August 5th because my teacher hates me and won't let me miss any more class!!

But yep, that's what's going on in my tummy!!!

Are you asleep and drooling on your computer yet?? ;-)

-I Lava Juice